Crockpot Queso

Creamy cheesey goodness with minimal effort. Yes, please!
(Photo credit shout-out to my daughter-in-law Ashley.)

Desperate times cause for desperate measures, and I’d say being quarantined in your home for weeks on end calls for cheese. Lots and lots of warm, gooey cheese. I ran across this recipe in the January/February 2020 issue of Martha Stewart’s Living magazine and thought it sounded too easy to be any good. But I was wrong. Well, not wrong about the easy part—it goes together in less than 5 minutes. I was wrong about the good part. It is delicious!!! I’ve now made this in my new little 2-quart Crockpot ($9.96 at Walmart, purchased using appropriate social distancing, of course) several times. Once I got over the fact that I had to purchase American cheese for the first time in my life, that is. Why is it that the lowest-quality, most bland cheese ever made is called “American cheese”? Don’t answer that…

We’ve eaten it straight up as dip for tortilla chips, and once with little smokie sausages I’d wrapped in homemade pizza dough and baked in the oven. (Yes, our food standards have slipped a bit. See: “desperate times” above.) The best part about this dip is that it is smooth and silky—and stays that way! I highly recommend this when you need a cheesy goodness fix, and no judgment from me for what you choose to slip into this dip.

Makes 4 cups

INGREDIENTS
8-ounces pepper Jack cheese, shredded
4-6 slices of American cheese
2 teaspoons cornstarch
10-ounce can diced tomatoes with chilies (Ro-tel brand is great!)
12-ounce can of evaporated milk
kosher or sea salt

OPTIONAL TOPPINGS
diced red onion
diced jalapeno
chopped cilantro

Toss cheeses and cornstarch together in 1.5 or 2-quart slow cooker. Stir in diced tomatoes and milk, and season with salt. Cover and cook until bubbling and thickened, about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Stir again before serving. If desired, sprinkle diced toppings on before serving. I don’t need to tell you to enjoy, because you totally will.

Guacamole

FullSizeRenderSo easy, so fresh. The biggest challenge to making this delicious guacamole, is finding avocados at the perfect stage of ripeness. Too hard, and they won’t mash. Too soft, and they’ll have gone bad. It’s kind of like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. You have to look for avocados that are juuuuuuust right—when the leathery green skin yields slightly to pressure from your thumb. My son Mitchell likes freshly made guac so much, he says it’s his “chocolate,” meaning he craves it the way those with a sweet tooth crave the cocoa bean. We created this simple recipe when we couldn’t find a satisfactory ready-made version in the grocery store, and Mitchell’s been a happy camper ever since.

Makes 1 to 1 1/2 cups

2-3 ripe avocados
2-3 slices yellow onion, minced
Half of lemon, juiced
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika, optional
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper

In small bowl, combine all ingredients and mash. Serve with tacos, or dip guacamole with tortilla or pretzel chips. (Do I really need to tell anyone how to eat guac? I don’t think so!)

Haystack Taco Dip

Haystack Salad IMG_0608So many appetizers rely on a brick of cream cheese as base, but this taco-flavored dip is chock full of fresh ingredients like tomatoes and alfalfa sprouts—and no cream cheese! And it’s probably the best thing you’ll ever dip with a chip. It’s a great appetizer for graduation open houses or other buffets as it doesn’t need to be kept hot, or cold. In fact, that’s where I first tasted this concoction, at my friend Laurie’s open house for one of her daughters. Laurie called her recipe “Haystack Salad,” but my family has always called it “that taco dip.” Laurie’s directions were to use a can of Hormel no bean chili as the base, or refried beans in a pinch. It seems Hormel has quit producing that item—I’ve not been able to find no bean chili for several years now, and the refried beans work perfectly well instead.

One way to make this dip extra great, is to get some Penzy’s taco seasoning. It has less salt and more flavor than the stuff you get in the foil packets at the grocery store. You can order the taco seasoning through Penzy’s website, and hey, grab some cinnamon and vanilla while you’re at it! (Last time I ordered, they shipped free with a $50 order, so you might as well stock up on other spices and seasonings.)

The other thing you’ll like about this appetizer, is that it goes together in about 15 minutes (or less if you enlist the help of someone to shred cheese) and requires no baking. Have I convinced you to try this one yet?

Serves 10-12

1 – 16 ounce can of refried beans
4 tablespoons Penzy’s taco seasoning or 1 package of other taco seasoning
3 ripe avocados
1 cup sour cream
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 – 4 ounce can of diced mild green chilies
1 – 4.25 ounce can of chopped ripe olives
1/2 cup chopped scallions (about 4 scallions)
1 cup shredded monty jack cheese
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
3 tomatoes, diced
1/3 to 1/2 container of alfalfa sprouts
Tortilla or corn chips

Combine refried beans and taco seasoning in a small bowl. Spread on the bottom of a glass 9″x13″ baking dish. In another small bowl, add avocados, sour cream, and lemon juice together and mash until combined. Spread on top of the refried bean mixture. Drain the green chiles, and sprinkle on top of the avocado layer, followed by the chopped ripe olives, then the scallions. Next sprinkle monty jack cheese, and then cheddar cheese. After dicing the tomatoes, strain them to get rid of the extra juice. Add tomatoes on top of the cheeses, and finish with the alfalfa sprouts. If not serving immediately, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for up to 24 hours. Serve with tortilla or corn chips. But remember, no double-dipping!